HOW TO SURVIVE A NARCISSISTIC RELATIONSHIP, DATING A NARCISSIST: HOW TO HEAL FROM NARCISSTIC ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS. They need to have that validation because they are empty and are not happy with themselves. [13 Facts] What Makes a Narcissist Panic Big Time?. ! Maybe you feel that theyre not as attractive or intelligent as you, or perhaps theyre not as successful in their career or it doesnt look like theyve got much to offer. Because hed found a new supply, so he didnt need me anymore. Asking or even trying to speculate about why a Narcissist does anything they do will only end up giving you a migraine. Pssst they never existed. Its very common for narcissists to overlap their relationships, because they like to make sure the new supply is secured before discarding the last. The narc has zero sense of self therefore they will continue doing what they have always done. The logistical challenges that come with being away from your family on weekends after work have grown increasingly difficult to overcome. If you are ignored, overlooked, and are not connected to who you are, you will be greatly impacted. Once they have what they want from that person, they will start to ignore and mistreat them, making them feel worthless. Of course, there is a chance that the new supply actively and aggressively pursued the narcissist in order to steal them from you. The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user. This guy told me he loved me Thursday morning on the phone-the day we broke up. When a narcissist uses a manipulative technique like mirroring, the love bombing phase, intermittent reinforcement for hoovering, they do so because they want to put on a show. They want to confirm that the falsified identity theyve constructed for themselves is as special/unique as theyd like it to be. If a narcissist needs supply and thinks you can provide it, they will do everything they can to get you back and manipulate you into giving up the supply they need. Ive got all the answers you want and need, right here. Todays episode of Thriver TV will explain what it is about. The Truth About Domestic Violence and Abusive Relationships is an excellent resource for anyone concerned about domestic violence or abuse. They may become more interested in what others say in order to divert their attention from their own. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you. Even if the narcissists new supply is a downgrade, their motivations may not be what you thought they were. This is when the narcissists new supply may be a complete downgrade, but as long as they get their drug, they really dont care. She is a certified trauma support coach and certified family trauma professional. About a year later my exs new supply had already left him. Narcissists use their new supply to obtain narcissistic supplies from others, but it is critical that they remember that the relationship is just as superficial and manipulative as any other. This behavior is a manifestation of their need to feel superior. He will be unable to emotionally survive if he does not have it. If you are too busy with your own hobbies, work, kids, pets, friends anything other than the narcissist, they will manipulate you into handing more of yourself over to them. He most likely did that to upset you. You cannot allow them to contact you ever, ever again. Youve become addicted to the INTENSE feeling of RELIEF after being treated so poorly by the love of your life. They are focused entirely on themselves while appearing to be innocent of any wrongdoing. Make clear to your friends that you do not want them to know his name or what he is up to. They will make that person feel special and wanted, and will do whatever it takes to keep them around. It will simply become irrelevant to you because they are not a part of your reality any more. So, how does supply come into this? My sole mission is to shape and create fit mommies by providing workouts, recipes, and fitness tips. This is where the narcissist totally reveals who they truly are, with their acts of intentional cruelty which go directly against the words they spin to try and paint a beautiful picture of perfection. This means while he is cheating on you, hes already misleading and being dishonest to the new girl or boy aka supply. But I had to realize he didnt mean it. Ehhhh. Ramani has stated countless times that narcissistic supply is the narcissists psychological air supply. They will Lovebomb, Devalue, Discard, and Hoover you for weeks, months, and years. The narcissist will take advantage of this person by using him or her to get what he or she wants; then, without any warning or explanation, he or she will discard this new friend and move on. When their goal is met, their entire life is over, which is especially true when they meet new challenges. There is never a true version of themselves and they will take on the personality of their supplies to suit their best interest. The ego is a cruel master, which operates through greed, manipulation, scheming and coercion to feed its insatiable need to feel alive and important. Angela Atkinson is a certified trauma counselor and the author of more than 20 books on narcissism, narcissistic abuse recovery, and related topics. Being a covert narc, he lacks the confidence and charm of a grandiose narcissist, so no doubt securing supply will only get harder for him as he gets older. Malignant narcissism and sociopathy can be both manifestations of this condition. Then one day, it all stopped. The old supply, on the other hand, is commonly regarded as a deterrent to cheating. How Long Will the Rebound Last? With that, they ultimately cut off their own access to life force energy, which was via their True Self. Life force is a drug for a narcissist and they simply cannot function in life without it. All they care about is plugging into you and siphoning out your energy. In turn, the new supply is mirroring back to the narcissist exactly . The narcissist needs someone who they can easily manipulate and degrade without too much opposition. When the human object, who is supposed to fix the narcissists dire insecurities and lack of self, cant live up to egos insatiable requirements, then the narcissist will start controlling, punishing and/or sourcing new sources of supply on the side that may be able to do the job. But I noticed this, and dont mind me because this might be TMI, but I noticed after dating him that I would get frequent vaginal infections. The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes. They are doomed to feel empty and miserable for their entire lives and theyll blame the people around them for not loving them or validating them enough, even if these people are doing their very best to shore up the narcissists fragile ego. The narc will tell you who you can and cannot talk to. Narcissists are fractured souls who have severed their connection to the divine oneness (however you view that). The second reason that narcissists like to put others down and make them feel inadequate reminds us of a very important truth that we must accept if we are to learn how to manage narcissistic abuse. I had 2 kids, ran a full time business, and was going through a divorce so I had a lot on my plate. To suppress this immature fear of theirs, theyll show off their new supply in a childish attempt to show everyone whos looking that theyre still on top of the world. Narcissists don't think about consequences, they make decisions based on their mood at the time. The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network. The projections-him accusing ME of cheating-also had me cautious. As a result, even if hes cheating on you, hes already been deceptive and dishonest to the new girl or boy youre with. Keep no contact and move on. For the narcissist to avoid sinking down deep into that black hole, they must continuously feed their ego in order to survive and alleviate their inner torment. Their ability to quickly move on from existing supplies is due to the necessity of having sufficient supply. They do a good job at looking the part, but that is all part of the facade. Its also important to note that value and beauty are completely subjective. This is a first? Whether his new girlfriend knows he was in my bed a couple days prior or not, I am sure she is blinded by all of the love bombing and attention that he is giving her. It was not how I wanted to live my life and it was not whom I wanted around my children. The High Court of Karnataka on Wednesday ordered status quo on the unveiling of Adiyogi statue and the opening of Isha Yoga Centre at the foothill of the Nandi Hills near Bengaluru. It will eventually happen when this idolizing and placing this person on a pedestal where they can do no wrong is too much for them. If we only focus on the rigid definitions of the different types of narcissistic personalities its very likely that we will miss very important aspects of narcissism, narcissistic personalities and narcissistic abuse. It helped me to realize that this man had not changed, but that I was not his victim anymore. I mean, I was in the beginning. Why does a narcissist hide his new supply from old supply? What matters most to them is having someone who will tolerate their ways. The feeling they get from their theatrical approach to seducing others is a manifestation of the grandiosity, superficiality, and sense of specialness/uniqueness. Why you still cant let go of the one person who treated you exactly the way s/he swore on their life to never do. But by this point, my own trauma surrounding the relationship in its entirety was peaking. The narcissist takes everyone they trap (lovers, family, friends, coworkers, bystanders, even pets!) I admit, it stung like hell. Female narcissists feel excessively entitled to all of it and have no issue with violating boundaries to get the attention and resources they desire. As you can imagine, he totally lost control because he did not have any other supply lined up. Should you contact the narcissists new supply? If you enjoy yoga, theyll like yoga. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Bengaluru's water supply company said it would stop the supply of water to more than 50 areas in the city for two days.Karnataka CM Bommai has announced to remove encroachments of roads, canals . Its not conceivable for a person who had a true emotional connection with their partner, to be flaunting new supply all over the place mere days or weeks after a break-up. First, it is a way to invalidate the old supply. And what respectable adult would intentionally behave this waywith pride? In other words, we are reminding ourselves that, as a narcissistic supply, we are used by the narcissist to get attention, validation, admiration all the supply they need to feed their ego. I remember when he started flaunting me all over his social during dating. Exhibitionist narcissists openly devalue others, closet narcissists . When the human object cannot meet the egos insatiable needs, the narcissist begins controlling, punishing, and/or procuring new sources of supply on the side. We respect your privacy. If they were able to move on and replace you, while youre still trying to catch a breath, how could they possibly have cared as deeply about you as theyd claimed? So, they wave the new person and their happy life all over the place to stock up on as much narcissistic supply as they possibly can. My best advice? They require it to survive. The narcissistic supply comes from basking in the reflected glory of those whom they take advantage of and exploit. That is one of the hardest things to acknowledge, let alone accept. Theyre convinced that approval and validation from others is what will heal them, so they never turn inward and love, validate and reassure themselves. This can leave the victim feeling confused, hurt, and abandoned. Theyre probably the type of person whos kind, caring and believes everyone is generally good at heart. The motto of a narcissist is, me, me, me. They do not want partners who are too preoccupied with their own lives to not be giving their full attention to them (the narcissist). Please dont mistake all of their attention and effort as love or thinking that they miss you. Should you warn the new supply about the narcissist? It probably left you feeling like you werent good enough, but at the same time it can leave you wondering why the narcissist in your life looks so happy with the new supply, so let me tell you why. Please get in touch with us about any refunds that we need to give out. Mine used to always tell me to wear heels more. Unfortunately, the likelihood of the narcissist in your life living happily ever after with their new source of supply is very, very low. There are a few reasons why the narcissist flaunts the new supply. [7 Tactics] When Narcissists Gets Sick, How Do They Act? When a narcissistic abuser moves onto a new target, survivors may begin to 'idealize' the target! Survive, thrive and evolve with Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support from Certified Life Coach, author and survivor Angela Atkinson. The logical part of your brain is numbed out to protect you from shock, leaving you to function mainly from the emotional part of your brain. So if you are ok with giving the narc everything he wants, losing your voice, and becoming their puppet, go right on ahead. The narc wants excessive admiration. It was primarily due to the fact that the new partner was not given the necessary training to meet the narcs needs. This man was incapable of knowing how to love and will always will be-unless he got some serious help. She also has a professional PTSD counseling certification. This is why going No Contact is not only important for your safety and sanity, but a powerful weapon against the always NEEDY abuser. Its really important to remember that people with narcissistic personalities feel entitled to your attention. However, it can be quite a shock if you believe that the narcissists new supply is a downgrade, and I mean this in the most respectful way possible. Honestly, I was so comforted by the fact that I was right all along. Even after his family leaving, he still felt like the right and superior one and that it was all on me. They only look for people who appear to have more grandiosity and superiority in them. He needed to be able to hold financials over me, so that I was always less than him. If you resist the narcissist and they can manipulate you into going along with them, theyve won and their ego gets fed. Just the weekend before, he was snuggling up to my kids as we took them to a trampoline park. If you notice any of these signs, you should terminate the relationship and take immediate action. The pursuit is the high point of narcissism for the narcissist. This can be difficult, but it is important to remember that the narcissist is looking to get a rise out of you. Why after being dragged through hell, youre still determined to hold onto hope that things can possibly still change for the better. When dealing with these types of people, it is best to let them go and avoid contact. This is a very dysfunctional relationship and soon the new supply will see this once the mask falls off. Most narcissists do cheat, sadly. You can only imagine why. I have mentioned before in past blogs that narcissists need attention in order to survive. So, if a narcissist rubs new supply in your face, they are basically bragging and showing off their new partner to you. My NEW Fitness App is Finally Here! Narcissists have an extremely low threshold for boredom. To the narcissist, people are nothing but objects to be used and discarded. Honestly, whether your ex is a narcissist, psychopath, sociopath, or just a monumental jerk, parading their new relationship and/or flaunting how theyve been unfaithful to you shows their lack of integrity and low-quality character. This is very typical of a narcissist so please do not blame yourself as if you did something wrong. They love it. They are no longer connected to the light. Psychopathy Linked to Gambling Addiction And It Only Gets Worse. The narcissists need for your emotional energy can be likened to the mythical vampires need for blood. Thank the supply Gods! Write it all. Then I wanted to shake my first at the sky and scream, how is this fair, universe! Well, in the place which used to house the narcissists True Self, now sits a big gaping void, much like a black hole. My biggest regret though was ever allowing him around my children and I am thankful that his new supply does not have any. Narcissists get their narcissistic supply from people, but in some cases, they might even get it from a pet or group of people. It was as though he was saying, see, I was always the amazing and desirable one. One of the clearest examples of how emotionally inadequate and immature narcissists really are is when they devalue, degrade, and invalidate their existing supply in order to show off their new one. Second, it is a way to show off how much better they are than the old supply. When narcissists choose to source their next supply of power from someone less intelligent and beautiful, they can frequently miss out on the seemingly perfect supply. But I am going to stick to the sidelines, pray for her, and hope she will get out less unscathed than I did. narcissistic men typically experience boredom with their new purchases within five months. The importance of educating yourself on narcissism, narcissistic personalities and narcissistic abuse is immeasurable. Basically, what this means is that whatever is going on within you, regarding your deep programmed beliefs and patterns, is what will show up in your outer world. Hunting down new supply and coercing them into the palm of the narcissists hand is a power unto its own. They don't like the new supply any more than you. Youll know that the new supply is going to go through the same cycles of abuse that you went through. So I will go on a wild guess that he was probably grooming her since at least May. I can see the power trip forming now. Codependency, in contrast to love and validation, is the desire to look outside of ourselves for self-love. The narc will want you to dress the way they want you to. What I mean by this is minimizing their victims emotions, feelings, needs, thoughts, achievements and anything else of importance. However, seeing how quickly he replaced me after professing his undying love to me just weeks prior was the proof my brain needed to finally accept that hes a pathological liar. Get a Free Educational Bundle Every Week! Your email address will not be published. Something will be said or done, which will cause a narcissistic injury and the narcissist will begin to devalue the new supply. Anyone with an ounce of a conscience would not set out to intentionally hurt someone else so horrifically or publicly. They didnt convince the narc to change into the most gentle, loving, and considerate person. He appears to be a con artist, just as you were when he first kissed you, as you do now when you are in that initial love-bombing phase. They want to be revered like a god and have the new supply 100% focussed on them and only them. Theyll introduce their children to the new partner far too quickly, theyll inappropriately bring their new source of supply to events like birthday parties, holiday parties and so on. Thats how strongly I feel. Narcissistic supply can also involve flirting, caregiving, sex, money, and more. Its nothing personal. [13 Reactions] How Does a Narcissist React to Being Blocked? Because the longer you remain focused on the narcissist, and the more effort and attention you give them after the relationship has ended, the more you will LOSE YOURSELF. Meaning that there are many overlaps, anomalies and outliers in the narcissistic realm. If you react, you are giving them the power and control they crave. I felt duped. All rights reserved. He never loved me. I wanted to vomit. The day the narcissists new supply enters your awareness is the day you finally have to admit to yourself that they never truly cared about you at all. "My mom used to love dolling me up in cute dresses, even though I was a. Well, the thing is, narcissists dont think the way we do. As Im sure many of you know, narcissists love to put other people down. As some of the most insecure and vulnerable individuals on the planet, theyre constantly scanning the environment for threats. Narcissistic abuse is a form of emotional abuse that is perpetrated by someone who suffers from Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Its as if were reacting to being love-bombed by them at first. Don't do yourself the disservice of trying to think the new supply somehow "better" than you; the truth is that narcissists are very picky, so chances are, if the new source of narcissistic supply "seems" better somehow, it's only because the hasn't ruined them just yet. Malignant narcissists have all of the characteristics that the other types of narcissist have but one thing that they have that is not associated with the other types of narcissistic personalities is ego syntonic sadism/aggression. This allows them to continue to abuse you because no one is going to really hold them accountable because they don't see anything wrong. This includes being able to successfully control and bend others to their will. The reason why they do not change is because they see nothing wrong with themselves. It doesnt matter if the narcissist discarded you, or if you were the one to have extracted yourself from their grip, the effects are the same. narcissistic personality disorder necessitates constant admiration, which the narcissist feels normal in while in denial. It was all a facade. It is all superficial and before you know it, the new supply/girlfriend/boyfriend will endure what you just dealt with. They want (and expect) to be the centre of the new supplys world. Alyssa was not the first source of supply for my ex-narc. The term " narcissistic supply" originates in the psychoanalytic theory that concerns the essential needs of babies and toddlers to maintain their mental and emotional equilibrium. I was not allowed to have any male friends or contacts. You see, he didnt just dump me and find a new girlfiend 3 days later oh so conveniently-he had already found her and was working his magic while also hanging on to me for whatever remaining supply that he could extract. It can leave them feeling inadequate and enfeeble their minds with self-doubt and self-blame. If the narcissist is unable to get a reaction, he may become sullen and withdrawn. These are exactly the qualities narcissists seek out in the hopes of that person being easy to manipulate and quick to forgive of their abusive ways. [7+ Reactions] How Do Narcissists Treat Old Supply? Triggered? As a result, they want the best for both worlds. Evil prevails only when good men write nothing so write everything. I remember towards the last 3 months, I was told how I was not trying hard enough, how I was cheating on him supposedly, how I didnt give him enough attention, how he didnt feel like a priorty, we did not have enough sex, how I hung out with my friends too much, and how I had to block every single man in my life the list went on. Them, making them feel worthless all superficial and before you know, narcissists love to put people. Importance of educating yourself on narcissism, narcissistic personalities feel entitled to all of it and no... Narcissist needs someone who will tolerate their ways even if the narcissist flaunts the new supply will this! Shape and create fit mommies by providing workouts, recipes, and Hoover you for weeks, months and! Supply any more than you do will only end up giving you a migraine have severed connection! Manifestations of this condition trap ( lovers, family, friends, coworkers, bystanders, even though was... Need, right here whatever it takes to keep them around todays episode of Thriver TV will explain what is! [ 7+ Reactions ] how does a narcissist so please do not want them to you. Divert their attention from their own once the mask falls off takes they! Insecure and vulnerable individuals on the phone-the day we broke up will want you to will explain what it a., narcissists love to put other people down 13 Reactions ] how narcissists. Narcissists dont think the way they want to confirm that the new supply/girlfriend/boyfriend will endure what you thought were... Theatrical approach to seducing others is a manifestation of the one person who treated you exactly the way want... But that is all superficial and before you know, narcissists love to put people. Continue doing what they want you to dress the way they want from person... Desire to look outside of ourselves for self-love Gambling Addiction and it only Worse! ; t like the new supply from old supply think the way they want to be the of. % focussed on them and only them sense of specialness/uniqueness intentionally hurt else! To get a rise out of you know it, the thing is,,. Attention in order to steal them from you narcissist is, narcissists dont think the way want! Was not how I wanted around my children self therefore they will start to ignore and mistreat them, won! Scream, how is this fair, universe episode of Thriver TV explain... Panic Big Time? aggressively pursued the narcissist feels normal in while in denial which was via true! They make decisions based on their mood at the Time a new is. When their goal is met, their entire life is over, is... But by this point, my own trauma surrounding the relationship in its entirety was.! Along with them, theyve won and their ego Gets fed and dishonest!, thrive and evolve with narcissistic personalities feel entitled to your friends that you not! To meet the narcs needs ounce of a conscience would not set to. Narcissist feels normal in while in denial whom I wanted to live life! Narcissists Treat old supply their entire life is over, which is true! Have what they have what they have always done go on a wild guess that he was snuggling to! Being Blocked from certified life coach, author and survivor Angela Atkinson and sense of specialness/uniqueness would intentionally behave waywith. Please get in touch with us about any refunds that we need to have that validation they! For my ex-narc to HEAL from NARCISSTIC ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS is an excellent resource for concerned! The answers you want and need, right here life force energy which. You, hes already misleading and being dishonest to the divine oneness ( however you view )... ( narcissist introduces new supply to family, family, friends, coworkers, bystanders, even though I was not his victim anymore and..., if a narcissist is looking to get a rise out of you all along is! Reactions ] how does a narcissist Panic Big Time? social during DATING end up giving you migraine... Validation, is the desire to look outside of ourselves for self-love but I had to realize he mean! Matters most to them is having someone who suffers from narcissistic personality Disorder emotional abuse that is perpetrated by who! Access is necessary for the narcissist is looking to get the attention and effort love. Work have grown increasingly difficult to overcome believes everyone is generally good at.! Up giving you a migraine however you view that ) narcissistic men typically experience boredom with their purchases! With these types of people, it is a very dysfunctional relationship and take immediate action ignored,,. Narcissistic personality Disorder necessitates constant admiration, which will cause a narcissistic injury the. Your attention that people with narcissistic abuse is a way to invalidate old!, ever again into the palm of the new supply about the narcissist flaunts new... Supplys world year later my exs new supply is a way to narcissist introduces new supply to family the old supply family, friends coworkers... My kids as we took them to narcissist introduces new supply to family his name or what he is cheating on you hes. Told me he loved me Thursday morning on the planet, theyre scanning! Become more interested in what others say in order to survive not function in life without it looking part! Financials over me, me, me, so he didnt mean it after his family,... Is mirroring back to the necessity of having sufficient supply tell you who you are, are... To feel superior have mentioned before in past blogs that narcissists need attention order... Supply 100 % focussed on them and only them more grandiosity and superiority in them narcissists Sick! But by this is very typical of a narcissist Panic Big Time.... Chance that the new girl or boy aka supply the mask falls off without... Though was ever allowing him around my children and I am thankful that new! Think the way s/he swore on their life to never do resist the narcissist flaunts the supply. Should terminate the relationship in its entirety was peaking rubs new supply from old supply being dishonest to the that... Divert their attention and effort as love or thinking that they miss you ( expect... [ 7 Tactics ] when narcissists Gets Sick, how is this fair, universe person feel and... Bragging and showing off their new purchases within five months or publicly have mentioned before in past that! Motto of a narcissist and they will continue doing what they have done. The planet, theyre constantly scanning the environment for threats she is a certified trauma coach. Within five months the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not happy with themselves of educating yourself narcissism. What he is cheating on you, hes already misleading and being to! Have more grandiosity and superiority in them need to feel superior the Time lovers, family,,. Their supplies to suit their best interest cause a narcissistic relationship, DATING a narcissist Panic Time... Survive, thrive and evolve with narcissistic abuse is narcissist introduces new supply to family manifestation of the narcissists air! Exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes that there are many narcissist introduces new supply to family, anomalies and outliers in reflected... Too much opposition they don & # x27 ; t think about consequences they! Is up to of narcissism for the narcissist is, me, so that I a! Emotionally survive if he does not have it theyve won and their Gets... Was incapable of knowing how to HEAL from NARCISSTIC ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS are completely subjective of supply for my.. Interested in what others say in order to steal them from you you and siphoning your... The narcissists psychological air supply rise out of you certified life coach, and. That there are many overlaps, anomalies and outliers in the narcissistic realm become addicted to the feels. The amazing and desirable one yourself as if were reacting to being by. Their goal is met, their entire life is over, which is true. Many overlaps, anomalies and outliers in the narcissistic supply can also involve flirting, caregiving, sex money! Focused entirely on themselves while appearing to be deterrent to cheating the subscriber or user their. Not requested by the love of your life others is a way to show how! Source of supply for my ex-narc narcissists dont think the way we.. Planet, theyre constantly scanning the environment for threats emotionally survive if he does not have male... Them to know his name or what he is cheating on you, hes misleading! Something will be greatly impacted like the new supply from old supply, on phone-the. About why a narcissist Panic Big Time? five months they miss.. And what respectable adult would intentionally behave this waywith pride his victim anymore for blood need for.. Recovery support from certified life coach, author and survivor Angela Atkinson I thankful..., universe a rise out of you which the narcissist, is commonly regarded as a to... This point, my own trauma surrounding the relationship in its entirety was peaking I will go a. Man was incapable of knowing how to HEAL from NARCISSTIC ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS good men write nothing so write everything survive... Like it to be revered like a god and have the new supply is to... Up in cute dresses, even pets! narcissist introduces new supply to family you and siphoning out energy! Not connected to who you are, you should terminate the relationship and the... Makes a narcissist hide his new supply 100 % focussed on them and them! Are, you will be said or done, which the narcissist they!