You're the reason God created the middle finger. A funny comeback will help you win any argument. Someday youll go far. Think of a great comeback and put it in your brain. 12 Kiara Bay B.A from Ca' Foscari University of Venice (Graduated 2020) Author has 526 answers and 56.4M answer views 4 y If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on the planet. Who do you think I am? If someone calls you a mean name, then return the favor with one of these funny comebacks: A funny comeback will help you win an argument. Youre the reason the divorce rate is so high. See additional information. You are so full of shit, the toilets jealous. wikiHow is where trusted research and expert knowledge come together. "Get a life LOL" "Like yours? I want you on the other side of it. I could've sworn I was dealing with an adult. 2. But opting out of some of these cookies may have an effect on your browsing experience. You should really come with a warning label. System Needs to Be Restarted Again Make Sure All Driver Is Installed Windows 10 Como Lo Reparo, Comebacks when someone calls you funny looking, What to say when you are told you have a big mouth. You see that door? Indirectly, you are saying the person who seems to imply that he has more friends than you have fake friends. I noticed the improvement immediately. You are so dishonest that I cant even be sure that what you tell me are lies! You are so dumb, you need a cue card to say Huh? You are so dumb, you need instructions on how to use a rocking chair. You are so dumb, you planted a dogwood tree and expected a litter of puppies. You are so dumb, you play solitaire for cash. You are so old, if you to acted your age, youd die. Its better that Im hated for who I am than loved for who Im not. Usually my rule is 3 strikes and youre out, but you were out of my mind as soon as you started spewing your bullshit. Did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours? Guy: I think youre the best looking girl in here.Girl: Really? As a small thank you, wed like to offer you a $30 gift card (valid at GoNift.com). May 26, 2021 by Emma. "When people ask me stupid questions, it is my legal obligation to give a sarcastic remark." 2. Top 100 Friendship Quotes | True Friends Quotes To Share, 30 Best Comebacks When Someone Says You Dont Have Any Friends. Everybody agrees with this, even the person that is saying you have no friends will agree with this. Are you normally this obnoxious, or is there some class you took? But let the person know that they are only able to say that to you because they do not know your friends. The song Army of One is an ode to your loneliness. 44. When you can establish with your response that you are not craving low-level friendships like the person in the name of being social, you will be seen as an independent and confident individual. Take that up with your mom and dad. This shows that you are interested in their opinion and willing to engage in a dialogue. It's always important to have a good comeback for when someone says something that leaves you speechless. Grab our FREE starter guide, so you know not only what to say- but how to say it. 85. It reminded me to take out the trash. Everyones entitled to act stupid once in a while, but you really abuse the privilege. You can be anything you wantexcept good looking. 38. Your parents, for one. Girl: I love biscuitsGuy: Thats because youre crackers! Your only purpose inlifeis to become an organ donor. People like you are the reason Im on medication. Its kind of hilarious watching you try to fit your entire vocabulary into one sentence. Get well soon. Focus strictly on the words and come back with something like "Yes, but at least my stink will shower off, unlike your rancid personality." 5. 17. My four head may be big, but your stomach is bigger! Im not going to repeat myself, but Im also glad to do anything that prevents you from talking. What if someone keeps saying, "Did your mom drop you on your head, is that why you're so ugly? On this note, some have made it a habit because of its relieving effect. And if you're reading these funny quotes and hilarious insults, you probably have, too. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. It takes me a lot of effort to smile when youre around. Guy: I want to give myself to you.Girl: Sorry, I dont accept cheap gifts. Might as well take a trip to the moon while you're at it. What did you do with the diaper? Don't use the "talk to the hand" or put your hand in their face. I heard that when you were born, your father threw rocks at the stork. I heard that you went to the haunted house and they offered you a job. I heard you got a brain transplant and the brain rejected you! I heard you went to see the doctor and told him that you wanted a little wart removed; so he had you thrown out of his office. I heard you went to a freak show and got in free! All of this insulting isn't good. Guy: So what do you do for a living?Girl: Female impersonator. We all know the feeling. 5. Were you born this stupid or did you take lessons? If genius skips a generation, your children will be brilliant. 1. I'm the person you should have treated with respect. You got into an argument with a frenemy or a stranger and they got you so riled up that you couldnt come up with a good comeback until long after the fighting is over. I present to you: absolutely fucking nothing. You are proof that evolution can go in reverse. Founded in 2010, Thought Catalog is owned and operated by The Thought & Expression Company, Inc. For over a decade, we've been at the bleeding edge of media, pioneering an infrastructure for creatives to flourish both artistically and financially. Stupidity isn't a crime, so youre free to go. I hope you stay there. 3. Everyone touches you, but nobody wants you. Riley Kane is a bit of a nomad, having lived in Illinois, Connecticut, Georgia, and even California. Help! Remember that time you were saying that thing I didnt care about? This article has been viewed 265,636 times. The truth will set you free. Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered. I didnt think it was possible to give me more reasons to hate you until today. I'm not sure; I've always wondered about it. I wanted to live life without many regrets. They say ignorance is bliss. 2023byTango Publishing Corporation All Rights Reserved. 30. Guy: Do you believe in love at first sight or do you want me to walk by again?Girl: Yeah, but this time dont stop! When somebody. Want more humor? Yes, you must have 10 times as many brain cells as I! 12. At least I am still better looking than you! Enter the fray and enjoy the spirit of the confrontation instead of fearing it or downplaying it. I've got to stop you. 2. You seem to have a lot on your mind a lot of bullshit. It is a 5head.". I hope your wife brings a date to your funeral. Discover short videos related to comebacks if someone says i have a brain on TikTok. You just live. Whatever is eating at you must be suffering horribly. I never even listen when you tell me them. There was some terrible traffic accident on the news today. You mean like yours? Im busy right now; can I ignore you another time? What this will be interpreted as is that you have seen the advice from the remark they made, but that advice is to do away with them.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'callforte_com-leader-1','ezslot_0',121,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-callforte_com-leader-1-0'); Nobody is perfect. Ok, show me the way! You are like a cloud. You need a kiss on the neck from a crocodile. 5. If you ever cross my mind, Ill make sure its a busy intersection. In fact in your case theyre nothing. Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all the stupid people. Dont you have a terribly empty feeling in your skull? Dont you need a license to be that ugly? Good story, but in what chapter do you shut up? Worse, you dont want them to have the last word, So, weve compiled a list here of 100 comebacks that you might want to use the next time your friend hurts you or makes you mad. Being a dick to me wont make yours bigger. Yeah, you are fluent in lies 5. That's as close as you're going to get to me giving a shit. Aww, dont worry, you are wantedwanted for several accounts of perjury. Dont delay. It also sends the impression that there is more to what the person knows about you. You are proof that evolution can go in reverse. Also, as the person attempts to explain, the impact and weight of the remark that is supposed to be felt emotionally will be defused. Well, if this is what they ask, here are some examples of witty comebacks you can use: "You've got very short hair, are you a lesbian?". Hate me because your boyfriend thinks so. Then youve landed in the right place! If you want to be a smartass, you have to be smart. You are reflecting on how valuable and sought after you are as opposed to how they wanted you to feel by saying you have no friends. Lasts longer in bed, too. Make sure to use extra sarcasm. Before you came along we were hungry. You are not yourself today. Now we are fed up. Believe me, I dont want to make a monkey out of you. The people who tolerate you on a daily basis are the real heroes. Being told that you look young is usually a positive thing, and many women welcome the compliment. You bring everyone so much joy when. It's a game changerget it free for a limited time! Be ready and willing to pick apart what someone says. (Just in case you need it) "AND I think you should listen instead of spewing some bullsh*t again or you'll regret it" If he annoys you again, just say that to him, sweetie. RELATED:99 Sarcastic & Funny Memes About Life. That's not what your mom/bitch told me last night. 37. 19. After all, you have inferiority! People have every right to be ugly, but you abuse the privilege! People say that you are the perfect idiot. Guy: Your Ugly.Girl: And your quite good lookingfor a Gorilla, that is, Guy: Why do you smell funny?Girl: Its called soap dont think youve ever smelt it before, Girl: Ive just come back from the beauticians.Guy: Pity it was closed. I am returning your nose. I have a big forehead, you are immature, nobody is perfect. 3. Awesome Comebacks for Bullies The best way to respond to bullies is to not let them get away with anything. Your ignorance makes my racist uncle look like Albert Einstein. Enjoy! Last weeks test was on shapes and colors, but it appears like you might have to revisit that after todays conversation. Im not insulting you, Im describing you. I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and poop out a smarter statement than whatever you just said. 10. Keep rolling your eyes, you might eventually find a brain. Best Roasts |Best Dark Jokes If someone should tell you that you dont have any friends, it is expected that you find the statement hurtful. If someone said i have a big forehead, i would sayThanks for the compliment! RELATED:75 Best Sassy Savage Quotes For When You're In A Mood. I would like some tips on how to clear my mind from someone with nothing meaningful to contribute. Thats your parents job. 5. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. Please, save your breath. They say our brains dont stop developing until we reach 25; looks like yours stopped a bit early. If youre going to act like a turd, go lay in the yard. Light travels faster than sound which is why you seemed bright until you spoke. up for yourself? How many licks till I get to the interesting part of this conversation? Say, "Yeah, you were too, or are shortcuts the only skill you know?" That is where most accidents happen. A rejection letter from MENSA wouldnt be too much of a surprise for you now, would it? A sharp tongue does not mean you have a keen mind. All day I thought of you I was at the zoo. Anyone who told you to be yourself couldnt have given you worse advice. Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today? Are you always an idiot, or just when Im around? Are your parents siblings? As an outsider, what do you think of the human race? Her comments come after a study found almost one in two people have admitted to doing the deed on the first meeting. But then, whats my own humble opinion against thousands of others?I hear that when your mother first saw you, she decided to leave you on the front steps of a police station while she turned herself in. Your secrets are always safe with me. Purposeful and intentional people are respected and feared. I hope you meet someone who is good-looking, intelligent, and cultured. Everyone makes mistakes. Simple Tips For Creating An Engaging Online Dating Profile, The Introverts Guide To Overcoming Fear At Networking Events, What Is Your Travel Style Based On Your Myers-Briggs Type? You are direct, intentional, and focused, and take pride in your personality.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[336,280],'callforte_com-leader-3','ezslot_11',126,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-callforte_com-leader-3-0'); You dont always have to make it look like you are the only one with the fault. If someone insults you, dont call them a nasty name. Own it! Having no friends is better than being fake friends with you. Thats a checkmate there. People who have no filter don't know how to keep their thoughts, feelings, or emotions in. "You're such a nerd" "Thanks for calling me smart, honey." "I'm not a nerd, I'm just smarter than you." 5. Youre a pain in the neck. Lets play house. There is even a 5head club, which Urban Dictionary defines as, "When someone's forehead is so big, that it can no longer be called a forehead. It puts them in a tough position to respond to your comeback. The next time youre hit with an insult, use a good comeback from this list: Dont be afraid to roast your friends. Thats a plus for me because I dont get to deal with people like you. I wrote something nice for you in invisible ink. 62. 18. i have been getting made fun of my big forehead and it hurts a LOT a school i try to ignore it but i can't help me, please apply cold water to the burns imma use dat one, Yeah my forehead is as big as your stupidity. I really enjoy the silence of your company. You can also ask the person why they think you don't have any friends. On the contrary, you are focused on building quality friendships. Somewhere out there, theres a tree working very hard to produce oxygen so that you can breathe. 95. The content produced by YourTango is for informational and educational purposes only. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/1\/1e\/Make-a-Clean-Comeback-Step-1-Version-2.jpg\/v4-460px-Make-a-Clean-Comeback-Step-1-Version-2.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/1\/1e\/Make-a-Clean-Comeback-Step-1-Version-2.jpg\/aid132194-v4-728px-Make-a-Clean-Comeback-Step-1-Version-2.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"