Yesterday, I allowed someone to make me feel like a useless piece of garbage the other day because this is someone I love and respect; the experience was all the more traumatic and terrible.

When situations like this happen, we try to find a way to fix ourselves in a calming and empowering way. If we are honest, we would like to create an invisible shield to protect our vulnerable selves from hurtful remarks, cruel jokes, and judgment that would force us to second-guess our life ambitions. Unfortunately, that piece of body armor isn’t available, so we’ll have to develop other ways to get through life and make it fantastic despite being a target for bad guys.

How do we deal with unpleasant news, particularly when it comes from someone who is supposed to be on our side? Here are some helpful hints to make you feel better about yourself. I’ve used these methods to persuade myself of my own worth and excellence. Remember, we can only control our actions and thoughts.

1. Stop with the negative self-talk. It’s tempting to hop on the “I’ll never be good enough” bandwagon when something terrible happens. But it would be best if you got off quickly because your mind can bombard you with insult after insult; that inner voice inside us is arguably our worst foe. Therefore, turn that negative conversation into a positive one by being kind to yourself. Start saying something like, “I’m strong, successful, and I will never give up .”

2. Achieve some short-term wins and create long-term goals. Decide what you can achieve almost immediately if you need some self-satisfaction quickly. You can feel successful by achieving quick successes, such as cleaning your home or exercising. These minor victories can also help you stay motivated as you work toward your long-term goals and objectives.

3. Appreciate the “NOW.” Stop focusing on the past and worrying about the future for a while. Being engaged in what is currently going on will give you an opportunity for peacefulness and an opportunity to savor the moment. We’re sometimes so preoccupied with what has happened or will happen in the future that we miss the present.

4. Walk away from individuals that suck the life out of you. This strategy involves those that make you feel like crap. Of course, it may be easier said than done if you’re related to these life suckers, but if you’re not, you can easily detach yourself. You’ll never feel better if you’re constantly surrounded by folks whose sole purpose in life is to knock others down.

5. Use relaxation techniques. When I want to calm down and relax, I listen to a lot of Jazz. Also, I write down my thoughts, make a list, and connect to nature or go for a walk. Relaxation takes practice, and it’s a wonderful feeling when you can do it naturally and without effort.

6. Make a list of all the good things and people you have in your life. We have a habit of playing the victim for far too long, and making a list of the good things and positive people in our lives helps us understand that it isn’t all bad. A daily journal could also be beneficial.

7. Don’t compare yourself to others. Did you know that comparison is the thief of joy? Focus on your achievements and blessings, and realize that you have come a long way. Making someone else and their stuff a focal point can be depressing and isn’t worth the time or effort.

8. Watch or read something inspiring. Watching the news and reading the comments on your social media feed all day will put you in a funk, so do something positive to counteract it. Watch movies like Forrest Gump, The Pursuit of Happyness, or It’s a Wonderful Life! If you do this at the end of the day, you might even go to sleep with a smile!

There are numerous additional things you may do to make yourself feel happy and more powerful. Please share anything that has worked successfully for you in the comments area. I’m always looking to add to my self-help repertoire, and maybe it might inspire others.